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For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start, but giving tzedaka (charity) will get you there.

Likewise, the best way to feel loving is to be loving ― and that means giving.

The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound.

It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness.

So, after hiring me as his dating coach, we set to work in rebranding him on We had Tom fill out my long questionnaire and submit to an hour of questions from me on the phone.