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There was a serious learning curve for both of us: 1.
He’s gotten much better at choosing appropriate partners.
Sometimes you’ll appreciate what this other person brings to your partner’s live and be glad of it.
But if you judge yourself for your own reactions that will only make you miserable. I think that dealing with jealousy requires practice, cultivating equanimity, and also being able to recognize when situations are pushing you too far outside your comfort zone and being able to discuss this compassionately with your partner rather than complaining and nagging and pointing to rules.
Relationships evolve according to their own unfathomable logic, not the rules we’d set for them, so when there was dissonance between what we had agreed should happen and what was actually unfolding organically, I’d flip out.